Thursday, September 15, 2011

No Longer the Bionic Woman

This will likely be a short post as I don't really have that much news. Today I saw the doctor and he took out half of my stitches and the boob tube. Man, was I glad to see that thing go. It is hard to look your best when you have a bottle of boob goo attached to your belt or pants at all times. Plus, I worried that I was grossing other people out.

Since I was released from the hospital after my surgery I have been measuring the output daily. So everyday, I dump this sludge into a container and then I suck it up with a syringe to measure the output. I know this sounds gross. It is gross. That doesn't mean I didn't sort of enjoy it. I had to record the amounts in a diary the hospital gave me. When I met with the suregon today and basically begged him to remove the drain he asked me to recite how much liquid I had been oozing. I told him, but he later double checked with Paul. Perhaps he could sense my desperation to have it removed and thought, maybe, I was being a liar pants. Once Paul showed him the diary he agreed. It seems they like you to be under 10 cc's before they will remove the drain. I was at less than half that so FREEDOM!

I'm going back tomorrow so they can pull the rest of the metal stitches out. This sounds worse than it is. I couldn't really feel the stitches being removed. I could however, smell myself. Oh sweet shower, you will be mine tomorrow. Paul assures me he can't smell me but then, he doesn't really smell that well. And he loves me, so he might be lying to me. Or maybe it's a bit of both.

Still no pathology report. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe Monday. We will be at the hospital both days. On Monday I get two more needles of some other non-disclosed liquid to help the doctors look at my innards. This test will be to see if my heart can handle chemo. There is no reason to assume it can't, I work out, I'm young, but I guess they like to check these things. Better safe than sorry, I say. Especially because it will be me who is sorry if it turns out my ticker can't hack it. I'm not worried about that.

I am a teensy bit worried about airport security. Our hope is to get on a plane the following day. I don't know what they screen for at airports these days but I do know that in the past 10 days I have been injected 4 times with "stuff" and I know at least 3 of those "stuffs" were radioactive. I also know I have two more injections coming up. Am I going to be setting off security alarms? I'm going to ask for a doctor's note, or at least see if this is a legit concern. I guess, worst case scenario, I can just pull out my boob. I mean, why not the security guards too? Right?

1 comment:

  1. Even though I love you, I would still tell you if you stunk. I'm sorry - I'm a friend.